How to Revise an HMXP Thesis

 

Original thesis:

Although some psychologists would argue that homosexuality is completely genetic and that homosexuals are born that way, I will argue that sexual-orientation is a combination of genetics and environment and that homosexuals can change; my challenge to this argument is because of the change I have seen in an uncle who left the gay lifestyle.

Revised thesis:

Although some psychologists would argue that my uncle's homosexuality is completely genetic and that he did not really change, I will use his situation/example/transformation to argue that homosexuals can change because his sexual orientation, as Ridley argues, is a combination of genetics and environment.

Notes:

 

 

Here are some other good thesis statements and how to get there:

Area of inquiry: Consumerism in America.

Topic: Consumerism in my experience.

Focused topic: One experience of consumerism in my own life--namely, getting new dresses for Easter Sunday.

Question at issue: Does getting a new dress each Easter mean that I subscribe to consumerism as a religion? Moreover, what happens when Christianity and consumerism intersect?

Thesis: Although Swimme might see me as polluting Christianity with consumerism, I will use my experience of getting new dresses for Easter to argue that I am not guilty of the "religion of consumerism" because dressing nicely on church holidays does not participate in the cycle of dissatisfaction.

 

 

Area of inquiry: Consumerism inAmerica.

Topic: Consumerism in my experience.

Focused topic: My possible addiction to Applie iPods.

Question at issue: Does having to buy each new version of the iPod mean that I subscribe to consumerism as a religion?

Thesis: Although my purchasing of Apple products does not necessarily constitute "religious" adherence, I will use my various iPods to argue that I am guilty to some degree of addiction to consumerism because I experience the dissatisfaction that Swimme discusses.